Hey Kids! It’s the Super Sound Scoop with Human Giant!

The fame-meter is skyrocketing for sketch comedy troupe Human Giant here in the year 2008! The three-member group, consisting of those lovable funnymen Aziz Ansari, Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer, is about to blast off into mega-huge-stardom-ness when the first season of Human Giant hits the streets on DVD this spring, followed by the premiere of the hit MTV show’s second season. In fact, the current social circles in which the Giant cuties roll are so elite that they’ve been exposed to bands that even FILTER can’t get close to. So, Human Giant took it upon themselves to interview and photograph some of these hip newbies for us, and were even kind enough to send the results back. Oh Human Giant, is there anything you guys can’t do?

 

Alex St. Andrews and The Manhammers

This So-Cal power trio has the unique distinction of being the only band that is made up entirely of adult film stars. Their lyrics are bold, their riffs are tight and they probably have had sex with more people than read this magazine in a month. Their upcoming album, Used Men For Sale: Take It or Leave It!, hits stores in August.

1. How did you meet?

Alex St. Andrews: I met Gary and Brice during the shooting of Girls R Us. It was a real fun movie. We all played night security guards who get really surprised when we find out all the Barbie dolls come to life after the store closes. Crazy stuff. Anyway, we had a lot of downtime during the shoot because the shopping carts that we were having sex on during the big orgy scene kept breaking. So Gary and I got to talking…

Gary: I was telling him that I liked music and Alex was like, “Me too!” So we thought, “We have to do something with this.”

Brice: Yeah, I overheard them talking and I was like, “What are the chances? I like music, too.” So here we all are, three dudes who all like music. So I said, “Let’s make a band.”

Gary: Yeah, he said that.

Brice: That night I went home and wrote our first single, “Shave Me.”

2. How would you describe your sound?

Alex: It’s like if Jane’s Addiction met and married Men at Work and then had a baby.

Gary: Yeah, and that baby was tutored by Justice.

Brice: But then Jane’s Addiction and Men at Work got a divorce and Men at Work got re-married to Pearl Jam.

Alex: Yeah, and then Jane’s Addiction started seriously dating Fiona Apple.

Gary: That’s our sound in a nutshell.

3. Which of your songs is your favorite and why?

Brice: My favorite song right now is our tribute to The Who’s “Tommy,” called “Johnny.” We changed the specifics and updated it a bit. I think it’s awesome.

Alex: Yeah, so basically instead of the dude being a pinball wizard who’s mentally handicapped, now he’s an awesome porn star who gets acid splashed in his face.

Gary: It’s 47 minutes and we still aren’t done with it.

4. Best or worst experience on the road?

Brice: Unfortunately, we don’t go on the road too much, ’cause we get paid so much for fucking on camera.

Gary: He means acting.

Brice: No I don’t. [Awkward pause]

5. What’s next for you?

Alex: Hopefully our new album will hit soon, but we all have side projects.

Gary: Yeah, I’m going to start building my dream ranch in Simi Valley and start raising bobcats. They are beautiful animals.

Brice: I’m still trying to figure out my Internet phone, it’s giving me all sorts of problems.

Alex: I’m trying to focus on being a great father to my three kids.

 

God's Assassins

This dark-clad, intimidatingly large trio who refuse to be photographed call themselves the first Christian Death Metal Band. All three members of the group are over 7 feet tall and easily weigh 350 pounds each. They received a lot of negative attention two years ago when Gunther Van Tresse, the lead singer, was overheard saying, “God isn’t a pussy, so why does his music have to be?” They are currently on their “Abomination to Non-Believers Tour.”

1. How did you meet?

Lars: We were all in a religious studies class. It was an examination into the Stations of the Cross: its cultural and biblical impact, etc. I believe we were learning about the Shroud of Turin when I heard a distinct “Rock on!” I looked across the room and saw Gunther. He was wearing a Slayer t-shirt and had the coolest crucifix on. I just had to meet him. So I went over to him at the snack table and we just started chatting. We loved the same bands—Megadeth, Sodom, Obituary.

Gunther: I was like, “Dude. You have to meet Snake.”

Snake: I was also in the class, but I was quiet.

Gunther: One thing led to another and before I knew it, we were playing the coveted “Christmas Eve Mass” at the church and the vibe was just insane.

Snake: It was really joyful and fucking hardcore.

2. How would you describe your sound?

Gunther: It’s like every instrument in the world dying and rising again.

3. Which of your songs is your favorite and why?

Gunther: For me, it’s “Possessed By Jesus.” I wrote it right after I was re-baptised and that’s how I felt. It was like I was possessed to carry out His word. It was a beautiful feeling.

Lars: For me it would have to be “Drunk on God’s Blood.” When I was an altar boy I used to sneak into the place where they held the sacraments and drink the blessed wine. I knew then I was in the right place.

Snake: They’re all good, but I like “Tear into Christ” the most. It’s about really jumping into religion and faith.

4. Best or worst experience on the road?

Snake: Never play before a church bake sale. Nine times out of 10, your fans are just thinking about the treats they’re going to buy after the concert.

5. What’s next for you?

Lars: We won’t stop till everyone converts or dies!

 

Bubble Men 3000

Each of Bubble Men 3000’s members are in a “bubble boy situation,” meaning they each have severe immune deficiencies that demand each member to reside in a plastic bubble, free of germs. When playing together, all three members enclose themselves in one massive 600-square-foot bubble, instruments and all.

1. How did you meet?

Aaron: We were all at the same treatment facility and we started talking and realized that, in addition to being forced to live in a germ-free plastic bubble, all three of us were really into Joy Division.

2. How would you describe your sound?

Dave: It sounds like Joy Division playing inside a big plastic bubble.

3. Which of your songs is your favorite and why?

Frank: “You Don’t Understand What It’s Like to Live in a Bubble.” This was the first song we wrote together and it really speaks to all of us.

Aaron: “Why Aren’t Our Immune Systems Better?” This is a ballad we wrote for our upcoming album.

Dave: “I Wish I Could Breathe Air Outside My Bubble Without Fear of Dying.” This is the lead single for our new album.

4. Best or worst experience on the road?

Aaron: The worst experiences have been anywhere we’ve played where sharp objects have been nearby. If anything punctures the band bubble or our individual bubbles, we’re as good as gone. Needless to say, it’s a fear that consumes us all.

5. What’s next for you?

Frank: We’re gonna try to keep avoiding germs and rock out as much as we can.

 

Dojo

Dojo is a Wu-Tang Clan tribute band that actually knows martial arts. According to Dojo, “The Wu like to reference Shaolin kung fu. That’s for pussies. We are all blackbelts in karate. Our shows are part karate and part rap. Mostly karate. We’re not really very good at rapping, but no one can say shit, because we’ll destroy them.”

1. How did you meet?
Phillip: Terry (the Indian one) had just gotten the crap beat out of him by some asshole after work one night. The next day he comes into the karate school that me and Davis run and he’s like, “Phillip, I need to know how to kick ass.”

Terry: That was a long time ago.

Davis: Not that long ago, dick. Anyway, we taught him immediately. After that, we started watching martial arts movies together and he pretty much introduced us to the Wu.

Terry: Yeah, these guys went crazy when they heard rap songs that mention martial arts. We figured out that we could probably make money performing Wu-Tang songs while simultaneously splitting boards with our fists and foreheads.

2. How would you describe your sound?

Phillip: We sound exactly like the Wu-Tang Clan if they were under attack by a bunch of bad guys.

Terry: Every song has extra-cool shit going on in the background.

Davis: Roundhouse kicks, dragon-punches, leg sweeps…

Phillip: It sounds pretty badass.

3. Which of your songs is your favorite and why?

Davis: We do a version of “Protect Ya Neck” that you wouldn’t believe. In the middle of the song, Phillip lights these nunchakus on fire and attacks me and Terry with them.

Phillip: I go to town on them.

Terry: We let him do a lot of damage to us, just to show the audience the importance of protecting ya neck.

Phillip: You don’t let me. I just dominate.

Terry: Shut up, dumbass.

Phillip: You shut up!

Davis: Anyway, from the feedback we’ve gotten, people really like that part of the show.

4. Best or worst experience on the road?

Terry: The coolest thing about being a band full of blackbelts is we never have to worry about our personal safety. Last year at a show in Portland, things got pretty intense.

Phillip: A bunch of 13-year-old white kids jumped onstage during a song. Not cool.

Davis: So, we unleashed a shitstorm of kicks to the neck and face and took them down. It was awesome.

Terry: To be honest, even if those particular guys hadn’t done that, someone was gonna get hurt by us. That’s what we do.

5. What’s next for you?

Davis: Well, all three of us are competing on Saturday at the Mid-Atlantic Karate Tournament. Last year we each got to the semifinals but then lost.

Phillip: I didn’t lose. I tore a groin muscle.

Terry: Same thing, idiot!

Phillip: Keep it up, Terry. Keep that shit up.

Davis: But this year, we’re all really jacked about it. We’ve all been training a lot. I think the three of us have a great shot at a “Golden Tiger.”

Phillip: That would be huge. Then it’s not just about fear; it’s about respect.

The Little Guys

This trio from Portland, Oregon, is a ska band that plays tiny, tiny instruments.

1. How did you meet?

Wayne: We were all at a tiny, tiny instruments convention in Austin, Texas.

Eric: All the big tiny instrument makers came to town and were showing off their new tiny violins and tiny saxophones and tiny guitars. We each picked one up and the rest is history.

2. How would you describe your sound?

Eric: It’s like guitar meets violin meets saxophone, but much quieter.

3. Which of your songs is your favorite and why?

Wayne: “Spiderwebs.” It’s a cover of the No Doubt song. We’re really proud of how similar it sounds to the original, given how much bigger their instruments were when they recorded their version.

4. Best or worst experience on the road?

Eric: One time I lost my guitar and had to play a full-sized one. We looked pretty silly with two tiny instruments and one regular-sized one.

Ricky: Probably when my girlfriend cheated on me with the other two members of the band. That was not a very fun part of the tour for me.

5. What’s next for you?

Ricky: After last night’s show, where I caught my girlfriend sleeping with Eric and Wayne, I think I’m done playing with this band. They can take their tiny instruments and go fuck themselves. F